Motherhood Doesn’t Pay the Bills or Parallel Lives

Motherhood Doesn’t Pay the Bills or Parallel Lives

I love my job:
Holding hands with my little girl, circling from the living room to the kitchen over and over, being led just for giggles
I am passionate about it too:
I lovingly chop kale into little bits, mix it in with organic pasta so that my girl can get calcium from another source besides milk…she’s a little sensitive to dairy
I have fun while I am at work:
Another hike through the woods with my lady love on my back, I laugh listening to her call the dog
I model useful skills:
Autumn runs to the lazy susan, grabs yet another spoon, and mixes up her brightly painted wooden vegetables, then spoons a little to her baby doll

My mortgage payment is late again
The interest rates on my credit cards are up
We don’t pick up the phone when the student loan people call
I have been to the movies twice in two years
What will I do with myself if she goes to school?

As a teenager, I said to my mom, “Why don’t you go to college?”
I always wondered why she didn’t paint any more, she said she used to love art
Why did it seem like she was always vacuuming?
Shouldn’t she be hanging out with her friends more?
Did she love her job?
My dad broke his back working long days, weekends, for us….

Jamie works another double today
He saw Autumn for 15 minutes this morning after he chopped our wood for the day and showered
Then he was off….
He will see her again tomorrow morning
He works for us
He loves my job too

I love my job
Tickling under her chin just to hear her gurgley laugh
Pretending to eat from her spoon while we sit in her tent in the living room
Kissing baby doll #1 and #2 goodnight before I tuck them in with my own little baby doll
Holding her with me in the shower just so I can get clean without her pulling open the shower curtain, getting herself and the bathroom floor soaked
I love my job and I could use a paycheck